I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
