is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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