Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
