She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize