Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
