I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
