So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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