Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
