Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
