True but thats because hes a fetus.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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