she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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