i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
