im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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