He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
