he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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