We won't sleep together?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
