and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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