She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
