I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize