She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
