Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
