so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
