yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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