Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
