if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
