glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize