Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
