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I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
