remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
