we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
