i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
