What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
