Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I hate your face
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
