I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
