I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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