id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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