dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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