Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
