life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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