I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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