It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
