sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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