WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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