So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
