so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
