coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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