I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
