O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
