# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
