And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
