Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I've blown a few things in my day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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