I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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