You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
