if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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