i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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