sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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