Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
